When Does It Get Easier?

When I joined the LDR community and started blogging, I quickly learned that this was a very popular question. I have been asked it a few times, as well as my friends who are also in LDR’s. I have also seen it asked among many of the other bloggers I follow as well.

I feel like this is a fairly difficult question to answer, because the only honest answer is that it never does get easier. This isn’t really what anyone wants to hear.

In fact, in my own experience, I feel like it just gets tougher each time. It doesn’t matter that you both know you will be seeing each other again. There really is nothing to help that unbearable pain you feel when you are hugging them for the last time, not wanting to let go. Not wanting the kiss to end. The moment when you finally let go of their hand, watching them leave and fighting that huge urge to just run back to them.

I don’t think it’s something anyone can just get used to…

Being away from the person you love simply just makes your life feel incomplete.

That all being said, when asked this question, there isn’t very much we can do other then give advice on how to cope with the pain and occupy your mind.

Know that you will see them again and plan your next visit

Of course when you are in tears at the airport saying goodbye to your SO, this doesn’t really matter much. Because the next time you will see them is just so darn far away!

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It really is. But hey! Time goes faster than you realize and before you know it, you’ll be back in each other’s arms! In the mean time, it helps to spend some time together planning out the next visit. Who will visit who? Where will you go? It definitely helps me because then I can start the next count down!

Get back into your regular routine

This is a big one for me. After your SO has visited, you get so used to them being there so quickly, that when they leave, your left sitting there wondering what the heck to do with yourself.

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Therefore, I believe that the faster you get back into your regular routine, the better you will feel! You might feel too depressed to hear your SO’s voice over the phone again instead of face to face, or to go back to playing your online games together and such, but really that will just make things worse in my opinion. The day after John and I part ways, we do everything we can to get back into routine. We’ll call each other as usual and go right back to playing our games together. It helps a ton more than anything else because it makes the days go by quicker and keeps my mind occupied.

Have some quality ‘me’ time

After your SO leaves, you may not feel like hanging out much with your friends or family. This is totally understandable. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you need some time alone to heal. Take some time to relax, read a book, play a game, have a nice bath, whatever it is that makes you feel better.

And last but most importantly…

Let yourself cry it out

I know a lot of people hate crying. It totally sucks. But sometimes it is the only thing that can help free all of the sadness you are feeling after having to part with your SO again. Let yourself cry it all out, there is nothing wrong with this at all and you will feel better afterwards. I always end up crying like a baby at the airport as I watch John leave, but I never care what people think. I believe if they were in the same situation, they would be crying as well. When I get home, I usually start to cry again as well because my apartment is so empty and quiet. So don’t be afraid to cry because you are not the only one!

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