For some reason, a lot of people tend to look down on those of us who are in a long distance relationship. Well, my question to them is, why? Do you mean to tell me that if your SO who currently lives with you or at least lives in the same town, came and told you that they had to go away temporarily to their dream college/university or job, that you would break up with them? I’d say that’s pretty unfair. Or that if you happened to be on vacation/playing a game when you met the man/woman of your dreams, you wouldn’t want to pursue them? Why give up a happiness that is rare to find, just because the current living situations are not ideal? After all, isn’t patience a virtue?
Now, all that being said, here is a list of the most common misconceptions that I hear about long distance relationships.
Long Distance Relationships are harder
Now, if you mean emotionally, then I would probably agree with this. After all, your partner lives miles and miles away. You can’t hold their hand every day, kiss them or hug them. No snuggling up on the couch together for a movie or falling asleep in each other’s arms for the night. All of the physical absence can be emotionally draining, I agree.
But in terms of anything else, long distance relationships & close distance ones can be equally as hard. No matter what type of relationship you are in, it requires work and effort. If you fail to do this, no matter how close they live or how far, it will not work out.
“Oh, you’re in a long distance relationship? So, you’re basically single then, right!?”
Honestly, I don’t even know how this is something that crosses people’s minds. When someone says that they are in a long distance relationship, this means that they have committed themselves to that person, just the same as if they were saying they just got into a relationship with Bob next door! There is no difference. It is real, just as real as that couple you seen today walking down the street. When your SO goes on vacation and is away for a week or more, are you suddenly single and able to go cheat on them? I don’t think so.
“Is it even worth it?”
Why yes, yes it is. And by the way, who are you to tell us otherwise? I’m pretty sure we are very capable on our own of determining whether something is worth it or not. Just because something might take a little more work than normal, doesn’t mean it just isn’t worth it. Is going to college or university worth all those years of your life? I’m sure your answer is yes, because the end result is your dream career. Well, the end result of this long distance relationship is that we get to be with the partner of our dreams. Is that so wrong?
Your LDR doesn’t have to be a top priority
Well, no. You’re right. It doesn’t have to be our top priority, just like a close distance relationship also doesn’t have to be the top priority. But both types of relationships definitely should be somewhere on your top 5. If it’s not, well… There’s probably something wrong.
Cheating is much more likely to happen
Chances are, if you are going to cheat while in a long distance relationship, you will probably cheat while in a close distance one as well. Same with the reverse situation. A cheater is a cheater, no matter how far or close their SO lives. If you truly love someone, you simply just would not be able to hurt them like that.
You can’t communicate properly
Actually, I think we can communicate even better. Think of it this way, you can’t do anything physical in a LDR, so the foundation of your relationship is based on communication. If you get into an argument, you can’t just cuddle it out, you actually have to talk about it and work together to get past it.
Kiss your social life goodbye
If you get into a long distance relationship and feel like you no longer can go out with friends or family, then this is either your own choice or your SO is being a little too possessive. Just because you get into a relationship, no matter what type, doesn’t mean you have to give up your social life. If your partner loves and respects you, they will give you the space you need to be your own person as well.
You don’t have to change your life accordingly
This is not true at all! When you start a relationship, either long distance or close, your life will require a little bit of readjusting. You are going to have to make time to spend together and any decision making you have to do will be influenced by their opinions or how they will feel as well. Just because they may be far away, doesn’t mean that the choices you make won’t affect them.
One thing that definitely would cause for a change is if your LDR partner happens to be multiple hours ahead or behind your time zone. In situations like this, spending time with your SO might mean sacrificing some sleep or waking up bright and early in the morning.
“Long distance relationships are so expensive, you’re clearly going to go into debt!”
Yes, plane travel can be quite expensive, especially if you are flying halfway across the world. Heck, even a train ride can be expensive. But this is why you save up your money until you have enough to visit each other, rather than being impatient and putting yourself into debt. If you go into debt, it’s your own fault, not the relationships fault.
As for being able to talk to each other, Skype is totally free as long as you are connected to wifi, along with many other IM & voice calling apps. Calling cards are quite in-expensive to purchase and unless you both sit there blabbering away to each other all day on the calling card minutes, you more than likely will only need to buy one every few months.
Love can’t be expressed properly
Last I checked, love isn’t expressed purely by physical contact. There are plenty of non-physical ways to show your love for someone. In fact, I think these ways could be even more important. Anyone can hug, kiss or sleep with you, but will just anyone hold a tissue for you to blow your nose while you are grossly sick in bed? Probably not.
Simply spending time together, picking out gifts to send one another, making something yourself to send, writing love letters or even sending thoughtful little text messages throughout each day are just a few of the ways you can let someone know how much they mean to you.
What other misconceptions have you heard? Feel free to comment below!
Thank you for reading!