To My Mother


Dear Mother,

You have always been there for me throughout my whole life. You’ve given me everything I ever could have asked for and everything I’ve ever needed. You have been my shoulder to cry on, my voice of reason and the one who disciplined me whenever I did something stupid. You have been the best friend I have always wanted.

Above all though, you are my mother. You, along with my father, brought me into this world and raised me into the woman that I am proud to be today. I would not have wanted it any other way. You taught me to always treat others the way I would want to be treated, with kindness and respect. You taught me to love with a love that is loyal and unselfish.

When I started dating my first boyfriend just before I was finished high school, you were happy for me and made him feel like a part of the family. It made me happy. And when he broke up with me and I wanted to continue to pursue him, I remember you asking me if I really thought he’d be the one who I married. I said that I didn’t know, but that it was a possibility. That is what I believed. I believed that if I proved how much I loved him and didn’t give up, he’d come back. And he did. But another 4 years down the road, he still didn’t know about whether he wanted a future with me or not. And that is when I started to stray. Not because I didn’t care about him, but because I was starting to become selfish, something you had taught me not to do. When I came to you with this concern, you told me outright that what I was doing was wrong, but also that I needed to start thinking and doing what would make me happy and to stop worrying about what he would feel. You told me that after this long, he should know what he wants, and if he doesn’t, then it’s not a good sign.

You supported me when I finally decided to end things with him, because my heart had now started to become loyal to someone else. And this is the part that surprised me the most. When I had come to speak to you about a man I had met online, I was terrified. I thought that you were going to tell me I was crazy and stupid for even considering meeting someone online and thinking that it would work. But you didn’t. You took me seriously, and even though you were uneasy about it, you told me that it was my decision to make and that you wouldn’t stop me. All you asked was that I go about this safely, which I understood and obeyed.

With your partial approval, I decided to fly out and meet John. I kept in contact with you every day and you even talked to John on the phone. Something I thought would make you feel better.

It all went well, and I made the decision to pursue this impossible sounding relationship. At first, I knew you weren’t totally on board with it. You questioned me on if I was sure I wanted to go through with something like this. After a few more months of going to visit him in Memphis, you started asking if he was ever going to come here to Toronto. So that became our next goal. I was both excited and nervous about him meeting my family. But when he finally arrived to meet you all for the first time, you welcomed him with open arms and made him feel like he was part of our family. You have no idea how happy this made me and I could tell after meeting him, you felt much better about our relationship.

He visited again about a month or so after, and that is when you surprised me even more when you suggested that we should get married so that we could close the distance. Ever since then, you’ve been beyond supportive of us and helped us in more ways than we ever expected. You’ve helped us sort out the details of how to get him sponsored here, contacted a lawyer for us and are helping in every way possible with planning our wedding.

So, I just wanted to say this. Thank you. I may not always show it, but I am very thankful for everything you have done for me and continue to do for me. In a time that I was afraid to come to you for advice, you turned it completely around and showed me that I had nothing to be afraid of. Now I am a month away from walking down the aisle to marry the most amazing man I’ve ever known, and I could not be happier.

Thank you.


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