Don’t Be Afraid…

It is much easier said then done…

   How can one possibly go from being terrified of something, to not really worrying about it anymore? For some, it may be impossible. You see the things that you are afraid of, and it is like your whole body just locks up. That, or you start running in the other direction. Others may be able to overcome their fears though. Simply refusing to let being afraid control them. It is not easy. I am terrified of bugs and I don’t think I will ever be able to get over that. Like, honestly, someone could offer me a hefty sum of money to sit in a box and let them pour bugs on me, and I would, no joke, have to sit there forever and contemplate it. Probably ending up with a “no” and people look at me like I am crazy! I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I would be able to survive! Haha.

   I am also afraid of the dark. This is the one where I can get so scared, that I’m either running to find a spot with light or I freeze up. I don’t even know why, really. But it’s pretty bad. The only way that I am not scared is if there is someone else there with me. Perhaps it is silly, but hey! Everyone is scared of something different. I’m also scared of heights. I almost have a hard time even watching people climb ridiculous heights in movies. Like, if someone managed to get me to climb something high, there is no freaking way I would make it back down. Nope. Not a chance. I would be stuck up there until someone came to get me.
   Anyways! Enough about general fears.

   What fears have I/do I face in my relationship?

   I am sure that a lot of others who are in LDR’s can relate to them. Perhaps even have gone through them as well.

“What if he disappears on me?”
   Yes. I have often worried about this. Simply for the fact that it is something so easy to do. Delete, block. And you would never hear from them again.
   But then I got to thinking… Why would he do that? He’s done so much to show me how much he cares and truly loves me. I know, without a doubt, how much he absolutely loves spending time with me. So there really isn’t a reason why I would have to worry about that happening. Not to mention, he has put up with a lot of my stupid stuff, so if he was going to disappear, he probably would have already done so.

“What if he gets bored?”
   This is another thing I have often been afraid of. What if one day he just decides that he is bored of our relationship or doesn’t want to have to deal with all the work it will take? What if he gets tired of dealing with the distance and just wants someone closer to him?
   With this though, I just have to trust him. He chose to enter this relationship with me and I’m sure that he knew everything that it would require. Plus… I really don’t think he will get bored of it. Or at least, I hope not. (See what I mean?) He always looks forward to doing things with me, be it when we are physically together or when we are apart. And even when we have a date set to see each other, he worries about when we will see each other again after that.

“What if I never get to see him again?”
   Now… This is kind of an irrational fear. Well, very irrational, really. But I guess I just worry about this sometimes after I’ve gone a long period of time without seeing him.
   How do I get past this?
   Because I know the only reason I would never see him again, is if I caused it. I have a job and there are always holidays that I get in order to see him. All I have to do is buy the tickets and bam, I’m there. So really, the only way I wouldn’t see him again is if I stopped buying tickets. Which will like, never happen!

“What if he cheats on me?”
   Of course, this is probably something everyone worries about. Especially being so far away and not always knowing what your other half is doing or where he is.
   Now excuse me for a moment while I sit upon my high horse.
   Honestly, it would be really stupid of him to cheat on me. I’ve done so much for him, so so much. Things that he has been very thankful for. And I have also been there for him through all the times when nobody else was. So, yeah, it would be stupid.
   Off my high horse now.
   I trust him. It wasn’t easy in the beginning because of my past relationship, and yes even now I still rarely worry about it. I’m still working on it. But he has been so open with me about everything and will even prove it. I believe in being an open book with your other half, and so far, he hasn’t failed me. So surely, he does not deserve my doubt.

   And then of course…

“What if we can’t close the distance?”
   This fear is a little tricky. Simply because I know the process itself can be tricky. But at the same time, I also feel it may be irrational.
   The process may be tricky or it may take a little while longer then what we hope for. But I do not believe it is impossible. Together, if we work hard enough and push through any challenge thrown at us head on, it can definitely be done!

   I think that is pretty much it… Those are at least the biggest fears of mine that I have had to overcome.
   It is just a matter of staying strong, in my opinion.
   If you love them enough, then your love should be able to overcome anything!

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