Written on April 23, 2015
I don’t know why, but this week has been pretty tough.
Maybe it’s because work was stressful the first half of this week? Poor Johnny was also sick though, so we haven’t done too much together during those days either. But, he is feeling better now, so hopefully things will look up again! 😀
I think a big part of it is also the fact of knowing I can’t see him again until June. I know we are probably one of the luckier LDR couples that get to see each other every month/every other month. But that really doesn’t make the time apart any easier.
I hear his voice over Skype each night. It eases the pain, his voice is so calming to me. Even if we are just silent sometimes, doing our own thing, it’s nice to know he will respond if I say something or if he hears me laughing. His laughter is one of my favorite things to hear.
I see him on the camera sometimes. This, I believe, helps with the pain more then anything. I can see him, the light of my life. His smile, his gorgeous blue eyes. His room where I had been, wrapped up in the warmth of his arms without a care in the world. But even then, though it helps, the whole of me wishes that I could just reach through the camera. Caress his cheek, hold his hand. A strong yearning to just be able to feel his warmth, his soft skin. And even more so that I was standing there right next to him, or him next to me, instead of just looking at him through the screen.
It hurts, yes. But he is definitely worth it. April is almost over, then we just have to make it through May. And when June gets here, I will finally be with him again. When I see him walking through the doors at the airport, finally able to embrace him once more, I will be one of the happiest people in the world.
So even though, during the times when we must be apart, the pain of missing him is bad. I know that I will always get to see him again. Each day that passes is one more day closer to the time I will be in his arms again. And that is what makes it worth it. Especially knowing that one day, we will get to be with each other everyday.
But for now, until then, I will continue to listen to his calming voice over Skype. I will gaze into his beautiful blue eyes through the camera. And I will not give up. ♥