Written on June 16, 2015
I feel like the more that I learn about John, the more I fall in love with him.
I’m getting to know him more and more. I’m learning more about his personality, I can see so many of his good qualities, his flaws, his past. The troubles that he has faced and the troubles that he is still facing. And honestly, all of it is just making me love him that much more. I love him, even all of his imperfections. I want so much to be that one person in his life that he can count on. The one who can brighten his day no matter what happens, who he goes to for everything. I want to be that person who can make him happier than anything and anyone else. Because he is that person for me.
The fact that I could even remotely be that person for him as well, fills me with joy.
He deserves so much and I wish that I could give it all to him. Take away his pain, make him forget the past and build a beautiful future for him. There is nothing that would make me happier, for his happiness has become my own. I know that prior to being with me, he had been single for a very long time. The fact that he chose me and let me be a part of his life, honestly there is not enough words to express how happy that makes me.
The pain of missing him right now is almost unbearable. But I am pushing through. I won’t ever give up. Not when I have someone this great by my side. It hurts like hell, but I don’t care how long I have to wait. As long as I know I will be in his arms again one day, that is what keeps me going. Hearing his voice each night and spending time with him, it soothes me. Even if we may have an argument, it amazes me how well we handle them, how much he desperately wants to work it out and find a solution. How much he apologizes, even if it isn’t his fault. I love him more everyday.
To be honest, I never thought that I would find myself in this type of situation. But I can definitely say that I would not trade it for anything else in the world. John has come to mean so much to me, I couldn’t dream of ever hurting him. Quite frankly, even the thought makes me sick. I admire everyone that is in an LDR. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage. And needless to say, it takes a lot of love. To work that hard, push through all the challenges and make that big move to a whole new province, state or country. I do not know what kind of love could possibly be stronger then that.
There have been so many LDR couples who have closed the distance. That is my goal with John. I will do anything to make it happen.
I love him so much. And I want him to be part of my life. Always.