Written on May 5, 2015

Admittedly, I have been having quite a difficult time dealing with the distance. I hate coming off as a clingy or needy person, but hey. I think in this type of relationship, it’s sort of hard not too, haha. Especially with being new to the whole thing.

It’s funny, because we do communicate over Skype each day, yet it just doesn’t ease that pain of missing him. A little, but not 100%. Voice calling helps a lot more, which I suppose is the part I’m having the hardest time with. I know that I can’t call him everyday, lol. Everyone needs their space. Apparently not me though? Geez.

But really though, it’s not even that I have a hard time giving people their space. I think in this case it’s just that… Giving him his space means I don’t get to hear him at all or just be near him and watch him playing his games. It’s just quiet and lonely. Boy, do I ever sound needy. But honestly… That’s the honest true feelings. The distance really does hurt and I’m sure anyone else in a long distance relationship can relate. (Or at least I hope I am not just a weirdo, haha) But even still, I would rather put up with that then not have him in my life. I will put up with it for as long as I have too until him and I can be together for good.

For now, I just have to find ways to deal with it.

I’m thinking perhaps making a to do list would be a good idea! That way when I get home after work, I don’t have any excuses for not having anything of my own to do. Honestly, I have so many damn games to play, movies to watch and books to read. >_> But I always sit there instead, focusing on how much I miss John that I then can’t focus on anything. xD So that’s probably a good place to start…

I also should start focusing on my diet a bit more as well. I’m doing well, no doubt. I’ve lost 10lbs since starting. But I know for sure I can do even better. I’ve started snacking too much, which I think is making it harder to drop anymore after the initial 10lbs. I really need to get rid of all this junk food I have laying around. It’s okay to snack every once in a while, but seriously I would just rather not have the temptation there all the time. Time to start donating junk food to my siblings, yes? I think so!

Guessing we will just see how this plays out. I know I will figure something out on how to feel better when I need to be apart from him. It will just take a bit of time.

-Feeling rant over

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